In the depths of his mind, fear is something he cannot comprehend.
He tries to eradicate his inner feelings of sorrow and apprehension. However, they seem to reappear from his head and it eventually became insufferable for him. Calming down was never the option as it would be a waste of effort to begin with. Other than that, he attempts to elaborate on his emotions, just to get used to it. But in the end, his mind just make it worse than before. He felt helpless that nothing can save him and his petrifying brain because some individual may have a lack of empathy for him. In addition, humanity is also part of his own concerns.
Fortunately, escaping reality isn’t challenging for him. Besides constantly worrying about his deep thoughts, he also uses his mind to visualise his own utopia, which does help him put his sickenings at the corner of his brain. Whether it’s the sun shining or the moon glows lively or in between both colliding, he frequently dreamt of the improbable without any specific traces of woebegone. Yet, his problems wouldn’t last long in the corner as it has the urge to create a disturbance, causing him to picture the negativity of dystopia.
Another obstacle is the interaction between humans and his alienated self. Without having to acknowledge himself being antisocial, his head is always upon the clouds; while picturing everyone with masks to inform him that each person is an enigma. He frantically brooded his desire of finding a friend; someone who wouldn’t underestimate him.
In a daily basis, whenever someone notice his inability of controlling his sentiment, he would recite every reason why he was fine. In that case, preventing his personal burden spreading to the people of his surroundings- despite the fact that he actually wanted to express his encumbrance just to see if society can relate to his problems. But what avoid him to do so is that he perceive the appearance of one’s face, able to predict their weakness, he was forced to tell a white lie.
Nevertheless, he continued to daydream and once he started, he cannot undo it. Everything around him became a trigger for his fantasy. Until, there was that time he could feel the invisible particles against his skin, he listens to the susurrus of the world while standing on top of it. Looking below, he saw the anguish waves hitting the rocks that serve as sharp objects. He thought that the scenery was marvellous and he suddenly have the urge to join the tides. Without thinking of the consequences, he flew to the bottom and his worries have faded away into oblivion.
However, that is what he imagined.
(Originally posted on Wattpad)